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Hey, NY Giants, Wake The ‘F’ Up … Please!

My cousin Carmine — God rest his felonious, bullet-riddled, soul — with his cement-block head and no neck; was a dangerous guy. But, occasionally, he’d put his leg-breaking duties aside and join the family for Sunday dinner. Afterward, he’d always push his chair away from the table, pat his beer belly, swollen under his spaghetti-stained, wife-beater, ‘T’ shirt, and offer up the same dumb joke:

“Hey, I’m not hungry anymore! Must be losing my appetite.”

And everyone would stifle a groan and offer an obligatory, ha, ha, ha; after which, mercifully, Carmine would get up, go to the living room and fall asleep on the sofa, laying there, inert, like a huge, pasta-gorged, boulder.

His humor, or lack thereof, of course, was based on that fact that, when critters are fully fed, even the most dangerous of them: lions, tigers, grizzlies, and my cousin Carmine, simply aren’t hungry anymore. Ha, ha, ha. But here’s the thing about dangerous critters not being hungry anymore; when they aren’t hungry anymore, they aren’t dangerous anymore … until they get hungry again; which brings me to the Giants.

The 2011 Giants got hungry late, and because of that, they got dangerous late. Just ask their last six opponents: the Jets, Cowboys, Falcons, Packers, 49ers and Patriots. And when they finished devouring those teams, they took their SB XLVI trophy home and — fully fed — fell asleep. Unfortunately, when 2012 began, the Giants were still asleep. And like fully fed lions, tigers, grizzlies and my larcenous cousin Carmine; they just weren’t dangerous anymore … because they weren’t hungry anymore.

That’s not an indictment of the 2012 NY Giants, by the way; their reaction was simply the psychological norm. Only six teams have ever repeated as back-to-back, Super Bowl Champions: the Packers, Dolphins, Steelers, 49ers, Broncos and Patriots. So, let’s face it; it’s just too tough to stay hungry when fully fed. Ask Carmine. Oh, that’s right, you can’t: he’s dead. Anyway, hopefully, now that we’ve missed the playoffs, and a shot at back-to-back championships, we’ll start 2013 hungry.

The irony, though, is; the Giants are probably responsible for stimulating the hunger driving three of the four remaining teams in the hunt for SB XLVII. And we may have done that by embarrassing the Falcons at Met Life, outlasting the 49ers at Candlestick and stealing one — again — from the Patriots in SB XLVI. The only team whose hunger we didn’t stimulate is the Ravens, and oh, yeah, one other team … the Giants themselves.

So, now we get to look forward to 2013: and free agency, and the draft, and OTAs, and mini camps, and training camp, and the preseason, and opening day; and maybe — just, maybe — a home, Super Bowl win at Met Life Stadium. And yes, God help us, to a steady stream of postings like this one. Yikes! Hey, NY Giants, Wake The ‘F’ Up … Please!

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6 Responses to “Hey, NY Giants, Wake The ‘F’ Up … Please!”

  1. […] My cousin Carmine — God rest his felonious, bullet-riddled, soul — with his cement-blockSee all stories on this topic ยป […]

  2. DP says:

    Here’s to hoping the defensive coordinator and his assistants are wide awake during the 2013 season when they face a steady stream of zone-reads and pistol offenses with mobile quarterbacks. I sure hope the D Line and LB’s are ready for these challenges of modern football. Sure hope they are burning the mid-night oil figuring out their plan for defending this new wave attack.

    I sure hope the Offensive Coordinator and his assistants are figuring out ways to ‘fine tune’ their offensive approaches to attacking the defense.

    My biggest desire is to see the Giants once again become physical on the Offense and Defensive Lines, for as long as I can remember; when the Giants have been most successful it has been when they have ‘out-hit’ the opposition. Can’t recall a successful Giants team that achieved the highest level of success based on a finesse attack offensively.

  3. Drew says:

    Martin Alvin, you are a really annoying contributor to this site. Your titles are not edgy or provoking in anyway. They are abrasive and use abbreviated cuss words that add nothing to your post. Whoever runs this blog now, please fire Martin Alvin.

  4. Jay says:

    Cowboys repeated also fwiw

  5. jeremy P. says:

    “…inert, like a huge, pasta-gorged, boulder” — Priceless

  6. DP says:

    I haven’t been keeping up with the latest coaching carousel news, but if Spags or Romeo are still on the market, wouldn’t it help the Giants if JR & TC added one of them to the Defensive Staff as a consultant or something? Or Romeo as a D-Line coach or Spags as an LB coach. You never know, worked with the Ravens on offense with Cameron and Caldwell in waiting.

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