Giants’ Coaching Staff Is … INSAAAAANE!!!

Giants’ Coaching Staff Is … INSAAAAANE!!!
By Martin Alvin

Some years ago, a local electronics retailer called Crazy Eddie ran a string of zany TV commercials in which his pitchman ranted like a lunatic and ended each frantic ad the same way: “Crazy Eddie! His prices are … INSAAAAANE!!!”

And I was reminded of Crazy Eddie yesterday afternoon as I watched the San Diego Chargers humiliate the NY Giants with a nauseating 37-14 shellacking. And that’s because the performance of NY Giants coaching staff this season has been more than just inept and disappointing, and more then just impotent and embarrassing; it’s been … INSAAAAANE!!!

Insanity has been defined by a fairly intelligent fellow named Albert Einstein, who said, “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” And who illustrates that better than the Giants coaching staff? Consider this:

When Big Blue was a potent offense, their modus operandi was to look for the long downfield shock-play pass first, and if it wasn’t there, come back to the shorter routes; and that was a very successful style of play for a very long time. So repeating that style of play, game after game, was the logical, sensible and productive thing to do: ergo, the sane thing to do.

And the one primary factor necessary for that style of offense is a solid offensive line. They control the game, allow the Giants to remain balanced and, thus, control the tempo and the clock. When the running game is productive, the play-action fakes allow the long downfield reads and the big shock plays. By controlling the line of scrimmage, they control the clock and thus, each team’s time of possession. That’s logical, sensible and productive: ego, sane.

But now, the ‘O’ line isn’t giving Eli time to look long and then come back short. He’s been hit and sacked more times this year than any time in his ten-year career. And when the coaching staff made an adjustment to shorter, quicker passes, and an emphasis on the running game, after a horrific 0-6 in the first six games, the adjustment worked. And if the Giants had stuck with that adjustment, it would have been logical, sensible and productive: ergo, sane.

Yesterday, though, instead of running the ball to keep it away from the Chargers who were marching up and down the field at will, they revert to the same downfield style that hasn’t worked all year by trying to match Phillip Rivers bomb for bomb. And in doing so, Andre Brown got only eight carries in the first half, which ended with the Giants down 24-0. That’s not logical or sensible or productive and doing it over and over again, even though it fails, is … INSAAAAANE!!!

That bombs-away scheme requires more time than the ‘O’ line can produce. Eli is rushed and when he’s rushed, he’s inaccurate. He must have thrown at least five passes yesterday that were behind his receivers and resulted in incompletions. And the off-target pass to Reuben Randle early on, resulted in a pass deflection that resulted in a interception. The Giants now lead the NFL in turnovers with 33. That’s not logical or sensible or productive, and doing it over and over again, even though it fails to work is … INSAAAAANE!!!

Special teams? Week after week, there’s no production yardage on returns. The Giants have no punt returner or kickoff returner who can do more than just catch the ball and get tackled immediately. Yet, they send the same guys, with same scheme, out there week in and week out expecting them to somehow miraculously become productive. That’s not logical or sensible or productive, and doing it over and over again, even though it fails to work is … INSAAAAANE!!!

Week, week in and week out, Eli comes to the line with about nine seconds left on the play clock and then runs the clock down to one second before getting the ball snapped –- except they don’t always get the snap off and get called for at least one delay of game penalty every week. Yet, they never go to a quicker snap. They just keep doing the same slow thing again and again. That’s not logical or sensible or productive, and doing it over and over again, even though it fails to work is … INSAAAAANE!!!

On defense, they got some pressure on Rivers, early; so on a third and long they go to a three-man rush, which gives Rivers all the time in the world to find a receiver, complete the pass and drive to yet, another score. Why go away from the pressure that’s working to opt for loose coverage that never works? That’s not logical or sensible or productive, and doing it over and over again, even though it fails to work is … INSAAAAANE!!!

In interviews with the Giants all last week, they kept patting themselves on the back for being 5-7 even though, week after week it’s been obvious they talk too damn much. But they just keep yapping. That’s not logical or sensible or productive, and doing it over and over again, even though it fails to work is … INSAAAAANE!!!

Maybe it’s time for Mr. Mara and Jerry Reese to consider hiring a psychiatrist for the coaching staff. And maybe one for the fans, too, because these guys are driving us … INSAAAANE!!!


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5 Responses to “Giants’ Coaching Staff Is … INSAAAAANE!!!”

  1. Book It Dano... says:

    So you loose a terrible game and the next day the coach who stunk up the place brings his three children into the Performance Center….they are dressed in Giant hats and jerseys and begin throwing around a football as the players start their practice…do you really believe that this head coach…this GM…this owner are going to fire that coach with the three kids. I don’t think so, because the Giants are a family. I understand that but this is not a good coaching staff any more!

  2. Dave says:

    The best thing about this last game is that there is NO WAY that changes won’t be made to the roster and staff. I really think we will major changes, especially when they lose against Detroit and Seattle. 6-10 is the best we can hope for now. Sammy Watkins in the draft since we will picking in the top ten!

  3. Nicky says:

    You’re right, Dano. They won’t fire Coughlin and they shouldn’t. Two Super Bowl wins in seven years buys him plenty of job security and that’s fair. But Mara and Reese will demand some coaching staff changes and that’s exactly what they should do. If Coughlin refuses to make those changes, then they might suggest retirement. But make no mistake about it, changes are coming. If there aren’t any, there should be a fan revolt.

  4. Walter says:

    Great article, man. Right on the money. Tell it like it is, brother.

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